A Human Show
by Antigo
Summary: Everypony in the room face hoofed. It was the end of the human race as we know it. **This fic doesn't intend to offend anyone**


Applejack could not believe her eyes. Right before her, on the stage, was a live human. She only ever heard stories about them from her gran gran who in turn heard it from her friend's granddad who had a father that studied these historical creatures (much like studying a dinosaur). These creatures existed from centuries ago when there were still no magic, no spells, and creepy voodoo incantations were only done by phonies, not zebras. Lieu to the lack of magic was much tinkering. There were a lot of very complicated contraptions that enable them to go by every day chores and work. As Applejack had heard, these creatures were very smart, but not smart enough to figure out how magic works.

Some believed that these peculiar creatures evolved from a certain species of apes. So most scientists describe their appearance were much like that of a monkey. But as time went on, century after century, for some unknown reason, these creatures began to devolve. Their brain became smaller, their physique became much larger than that of an average weight, and they began to rely on the silly machines that their ancestors invented.

In the end, they did not survive. After all, in a world of natural selection, it is the survival of the fittest. And at last, there came a time in history, when the ponies evolved and are able to communicate and hold intellectual conversations, when some ponies grew horns and discovered the power of magic, when some grew wings and are able to control the heavens. Ponies prevailed.

All the ponies in the stadium were awed. It wasn't what most of them expected. They were told it would look like a monkey, but the creature has not much fur which revealed its bare, tanned skin. But other than the flaw on that part, their image on what a human would look like were almost right. Scientists have dug up a whole bunch of human bones in their search and studied how the creature would look like with muscle and skin intact after all.

The crowd cannot contain its roaring applause due to seeing a live human for the first time. The grey earth pony who has a mic as a cutie mark, silenced the crowd with a wave of a hoof before speaking.

"You lot are certainly energetic tonight," he grinned. "Now, ah know how most of ya' have heard stories 'bout humans an' only ever saw them bones bein' dug up on TV, but folks, tonight, I bring ya' the real deal!" The crowd goes wild again just for the heck of it. The announcer flashed a charming smile. "Calm down folks, we don' wan' ya'll getting' too excited and fainting on us." The audience chuckled. "Now…. let's start the show!" The crowd stomped their hooves on the ground.

It's not that the host was really good at handling a crowd, it's actually all thanks to the human that the crowd was this wild. Fillies raise their human figurine as they squeal with joy of seeing the amazing creature.

"Now, as ya'll can see, this human is female." He gestured at the human's upper body. "These here are her breasts." He pointed at the most endowed part of her body. The tip has a peculiar colour. One might mistake it as violet, but it's really plum. It is a little erect, the announcer explained that it may be because of arousal or the cold weather. The latter was much agreeable because the poor thing has no protection against the cold unlike ponies who has a coat of fur. The human was obviously shaking due to the cold, finally, the announcer took notice and threw her a thick cloth.

No sooner, the audience were left with their mouths open again. In came a SECOND human.

Applejack was silenced, and so were the other ponies. A human was certainly a big find, but TWO humans! This is amazing!

Applejack looked around, observing the audience, they are as wild and as excited as ever seeing another human. But her friends were stuck in awed silence.

Earlier, Twilight sparkle was not convinced that there will be a real live human on this show. She began stating theories that it is simply impossible for an extinct species to suddenly show up. Applejack didn't understand much, but it _was_ along those lines.

Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were a bundle of excitement. Pinkie can't stop jumping and Rainbow was none the better, saying how cool it will be over and over again.

Rarity and Fluttershy were calming the two hyper ponies down.

But now, they were all left with mouths hanging open. Applejack would've laughed at their silly faces if it weren't for the fact that she was also the same.

The show went on with the humans doing various tricks. Like jumping, tumbling, rolling over, climbing up the stairs, throwing trash in their designated cans (biodegradable, non-biodegradable), etc.

* * *

Mike, the announcer, is Applejack's adoptive cousin. His free tickets were the reason they got to see the show. When the show ended, they went to thank him, and as if he wasn't kind enough, he offered them to go backstage with him to see the humans close up.

Now, here they are. Twilight can't stop blabbering about her egghead stuff. Pinkie was jumping around the humans' cage, singing a song she just invented. Rainbow was trying to get _inside_ the cage to get a better look. Rarity was _also_ trying to get inside the cage to measure the humans' sizes blabbering about making them something to wear and how preposterous it is that they are naked. Fluttershy just hid behind an annoyed Applejack.

"Sorry 'bout my friends cuz" Applejack timidly apologized to Mike which he chuckled to.

"We actually have a problem here." Mike said, which caught the other mares' attention.

Now that he got all of their eyes on him, he continued. "As you all know, for humans, it is _always_ their mating season." The mares nodded.

"But when we put them together in a cage, they won't mate. We'd done it a dozen of times, but still with no result."

"Even if we put them together in a cage overnight, nothing happens." He gestured to the dark toned female and the lighter toned male in the cage who seem to be having a conversation.

Rainbow raised a hoof.

"Yes?" Inquired Mike

"Were you faking your accent earlier?"

Everyone stared at Mike. "Yes, yes I am."

Rainbow left him at that, satisfied with his answer.

"Whatcha up to Twily?" Pinkie asked in her high voice.

Everyone turned to look at Twilight whose horn was glowing purple.

"HAY! Are ya castin' a spell on 'em?!" Applejack hollered.

Twilight was too focus at the task at hand to notice Applejack.

The glow became much bigger until it had all of them inside. It then vanished as soon as it appeared.

"What the HAY was that?!" Said an irritated Applejack.

Twilight just shrugged. "A communication spell."

The mane six, and Mike, stared at the humans in the cage who are seated at the cage floor. The humans stared back.

"So John, do you understand them?" The female asked, not taking her eyes off the ponies.

"Nah, all I hear is neiighhh, NEIigghh, NEIIIGHHH. And this-" he pouted his lips and blew air through them, making his lips vibrate that made a funny sound.

"It worked!" Twilight exclaimed and laughed her nerdy laugh. Everyone huddled closer to the cage, studying the humans.

"Did he just make fun of us?" Rainbow said with a scorn.

Mike rudely pushed everyone out of the way.

"Hello! Excuse me!" he tried to get their attention.

The humans stared at him.

"OMG!" John jumped. "I understood him! Did you, Cindy?" he asked his stunned companion, but she nodded nonetheless.

"Yes, yes. Sorry to interrupt. But I need you to do something. Will you do it?" Mike asked bluntly.

"Well, that depends." He crossed his arms across his chest and cocked his hip to the side.

Mike had to raise a brow. "Well, as far as we know, you are the only two survivors of your kind. That's why we need you to mate to perpetuate life in your specie."

It took time to process the information for the human.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Are you telling me to fuck her and have my sperm inside her and have a disgusting baby?" The ponies nodded.

"I actually don't mind. I haven't had sex in _years_." They all turned to look at Cindy.

"Oh! H to the HELL NO!" the human waved a finger in the air to make a point.

"W-why?" Mike was confused.

"Babies mean responsibilities, bitch!" he spat. "Isn't it obvious? LULZ!"

"Are you certain you don't want to perpetuate life in your specie?" Mike gave it another try to convince the human.

"No matter how you phrase it, babe, I ain't fucking a woman and that's fo' shizzle mah' nizzle!"

Everypony had to raise a brow. Even with the communication spell, the human was still hard to understand.

Cindy had a moment of realization. "John, don't tell me you're….." she trailed off.

John looked at her with wide eyes but then it turned sheepish. "Yeah…"

Mike was curious. "What?"

John looked uncomfortable and Cindy rubbed his bare back in an attempt to comfort.

"Well, I'm…."

'I'm…." he sighed. "It's always so hard."

"You know you don't need to." Cindy cooed.

"No, I _have_ to." John said with more confidence.

"I'm gay."

Everypony in the room face hoofed.

It was the end of the human race as we know it.


End file.
